FALL 2005 TV PILOTS

Just for fun, I decided to peek in on the wave of supernatural shows flooding the networks.  After all, this is a bit of a coup for me, in terms of public influence -- I haven't been in so many unsuspecting households since the invention of the Ouija board, and now my demographics are much better.  To amuse myself, however, I have decided to do my reviews entirely in verse.

The Night Stalker limerick

Charlize Theron’s boyfriend got hired
For a show about...coyote vampires?
The worst choice was havin’
A shot of Darren McGavin
I'll see those who re-make in the Fire

Supernatural haiku

Two brothers fight ghosts
Fun stuff but along the way
All the females die

Invasion vs. Threshold (the Alien Quatrains)

Invasion’s a show that starts off very breezy
With a hurricane blowing their budget sky-high
Lights in the water make little girls uneasy
I think many viewers will want to know why
The only flaw I can see in the show
Is a shortage of demons to frighten the heathens
Luckily Canada has fixed up the flow
By making Collector the scheduled lead-in
Threshold by contrast made me quite queasy
So much of it happens out on the high seas
Or perhaps it’s the smell of something, er, cheesy
By the end this old Devil was catching some z’s
The cast all talks tough while bravely exploring
A ship where only the bugs have survived
Boatloads of effects but the show lost its mooring
Expect it to be abducted by episode 5.